Go to their world

Great parenting is about two things - i) Hanging in there and ii) Deluding yourself into believing you are outstanding at this. Being from a modern Indian family (ahem!), the wife and I have split things right down the middle. As it turns out, I am so good at my part that I can now share the gyaan as well.

I am working on some marketing ideas for the company right now, so am in the mood for pithy sayings. So, parenting can be captured in one phrase - "Go to their World"

Kids live in a part make-believe, not fully-formed world of their own. They are trying to make sense of all the inputs they receive. Let me provide a sample of what my son has said to me over the past few months.

After watching Ice Age, continental drift, he said: In earlier times, they could drive by car from America to here as the entire world was connected.

When he was told that he didnt exist when Amma and I got married,
he went "So, you guys got married 100 years ago?".
Me:  "Illa da, only 8 years ago".
G: "Then I must have been there, no?
Me: Dei, you are only 5 now. How would you have been there 10 years ago?
G: Why not? I became 5 year old and have been 5 for a long time no. Like that I could have been 1 year old for a long time, 2 years old for a long time no.
Me: Stumped.

It took me a while to explain to him that the seemingly static variable that is his age, is actually a dynamic variable. I really struggled. His idea is actually kinda intuitive as well. (His way of counting is also adopted by a few individuals. All of us know of people who have been at n years of age for more than one year)

We also had a discussion on girls that cannot be put in the public sphere.

Point is, they live in a world that makes sense with the info they have. They continuously adjust their world view with new information, But often, their original world view has its own internal consistency when viewed from the information they have. Its a shame that we rarely see the world from that limited but internally consistent point of view. I am sure it would be brilliant.

Often,we are just anxious to correct these inconsistencies and bring them to our world. But de-camping in theirs is probably a way more brilliant alternative. Once, my son was playing a planes war-game with his Grand-Dad. In about 30 minutes, the pillow dividing the two sides was called Line of Control and they were discussing names of fighter-craft that I did not know about. That evening, my son told me - "We should be careful not just with Pakistan but also China, pa". Hahahaaha Even Nehru did not get that insight before it was too late.

Kids laugh for silly things, they love repeating the same theme over and over again - traits that can be incredibly irritating from an adult point of view. Having said that, they definitely live in a more vivid world that they are more than eager to share with us. Often we do not have the bandwidth to take the effort to go to their zone. Because we know we can survive there for 10 minutes, but would be bored stiff in 20. This is where the "hanging in there" part comes in; better-equipped people should write on that.

I find that I can engage my son and play different games with him, but I lack the patience to stay in his world and engage him on his terms. In a way, writing this down is my bid to increase my patience levels and engagement levels. The most important trick while dealing with kids is to figure out how to engage them - it is way easier if we try to improvise in their world, than if we rush them into ours. 

Left and Right

One of the biggest plusses of the 2014 elections has been that fact that Indian youth has become more engaged in the political process. We see more political discussions online, see fearless expression from youngsters and an overall increase in curiosity levels as well.

I sense that youngsters in the Country want to talk politics more, especially the ones that have cast their votes for the very first time. Very often they find themselves unable to partake in discussions because they do not know the jargon or are unable to place the different names that the older generation refers to (I went through this when I was younger, I would never know any of the names or terms). This very often turns off the youngsters and they become disengaged. This is a shame.

This piece is a bid to improve the vocabulary of political discussion. I never understood these terms left or right or center-left, center-right, etc. And when I started understanding them, I realized that a great many were using these monikers incorrectly.

There are two axes on which we can define Left and Right, the Economic axis and the Socio-Cultural axis. Very often, the parties to the right on one axis are also on the right on another axis, so we do not care to distinguish between the axes. But it helps to know both axes.

Left vs. Right - The Economic Axis.

Essentially, the left espouses the role of government; and the right wants more freedom for the market (private sector)


Left and Right - The Socio Cultural Axis

On this axis, the right is conservative, holds the idea of "values" dear, holds religion to be important and is proud of lineage and tradition. The "left" is liberal, prizes the idea of individual freedom, and believes that the state has no role in prescribing morality.

Countries placed on this matrix

Caveat Emptor: The above diagram is merely thematic. I have put this here in order to encourage some form of thinking/discussion. So, if you have any views on where some country ought to be placed, please voice those.

Indian leaders, parties placed on a matrix

Again, the above chart is subjective. Kindly bear that in mind. Might be a fun exercise to think in terms of where you would fit in.

I am mildly right of center economically, and sharply left of center socio-culturally. So, I will probably occupy (2, -5) in what will henceforth be termed as the enlightened quadrant.

Thoughts, comments are welcome.

Ishant Sharma and Rahul Gandhi

I would have never thought of any parallels between Ishant Sharma and Rahul Gandhi but for this wonderful piece of commentary by Kapil Dev. As a commentator, Kapil wears his heart on his sleeve and plays the role of half fan-half pundit to perfection. In the recent India-Australia series, Ishant managed to best his previous record by conceding 30 in an over. Kapil was seething; you could actually imagine him breaking windows if he had been in the dressing room. But in a few seconds, he calmed himself down and said

"Isme Ishant ki koi galti nahin hai. Agar, selectors mereko ball denge our bolenge bowl karo, mein to bilkul try karoonga. Aap bhi karenge. Kyo nahin try karen? Ishant bus wohi kar raha hai "

"This is just not Ishant's fault at all. If the selectors give me the ball and ask me to bowl, I will try. So will you. Why will anyone not? Ishant is doing the same thing"

This is exactly the same with Rahul Gandhi. If the largest party of an extremely populous country bends over backwards and begs you to lead them, what would you do?

And if we can pause for a second, and then rush past the impulse that says that this analogy can be milked no further; we can find more parallels between Ishant Sharma and Rahul Gandhi.

Both started with promise, best-case scenario for both now is adequacy, and fans of both will call it a good day if they dont get embarrassed by something their icon has said/done. One was born great (should it be greatly born), one had greatness thrust on him; both are now aspiring for mediocrity.

One spell led to Ishant's birth in international cricket. One birth has led to Rahul's spell in Indian politics.

Both have nothing to offer, but plod along because we have no alternatives. Congress's leadership ability compares well with India's fast bowling stocks. Eventually, when this all plays out, we might all come to the realization that Kapil Paaji reached - "Isme inki koi galti nahin hai" (They are not to blame)